


Last Night

by Katzedecimal



Series: Dreams [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Dreams, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Nightmares, PTSD, Texting, compassion can come in many ways
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-29
Updated: 2012-07-18
Packaged: 2017-11-08 19:19:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/446590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katzedecimal/pseuds/Katzedecimal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John wakes up and finds Sherlock in his bed.  Lestrade wants to know if everything went well last night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

[9:53 G. Lestrade] Sherlock isn't answering his texts. Is everything alright?

[10:00 John Watson] No everything is not alright. The bloody git's really pushed it this time.

[10:01 G. Lestrade] Is he alright? Are you alright?

[10:02 John Watson] I'm fine, just furious.  
[10:03 John Watson] Fancy getting coffee?

[10:10 G. Lestrade] Still there? I'm at Whitechapel.  
[10:11 G. Lestrade] What's happening?

[10:15 John Watson] If I don't get out of this flat, you might have to bring me in for murder.  
[10:17 John Watson] Don't really want to say.

[10:17 G. Lestrade] Found him in bed with you this morning, is my guess. 

[10:19 John Watson] How the bloody hell did you know that??

[10:20 G. Lestrade] Because he told me when I left last night.

[10:21 John Watson] He told you he was bloody well going to sneak into my bed last night?? And you didn't tell him to sod off? What the bloody hell?

[10:22 G. Lestrade] It was for your own good. 

[10:24 John Watson] "For my own good", how the hell is Sherlock Holmes sneaking into my bed any kind of "for my own good?"  
[10:25 John Watson] Might be typing like crap for a bit, got to switch hands. I don't know what I did to myself last night but my knuckles are swollen and hurt like blazes. 

[10:26 G. Lestrade] Probably match the bruises on Sherlock's face.  
[10:27 G. Lestrade] You don't remember last night, do you?

[10:28 John Watson] What's to remember? I went to sleep.

[10:29 G. Lestrade] You don't remember dreaming? You don't remember falling out of bed?

[10:30 John Watson] Tell me.

[10:35 G. Lestrade] I came round about 2, we had a sudden development in a case and a solid crack at it, so I wanted Sherlock on board. We kept quiet not to wake you but you started having a nightmare. Sherlock said that happens a lot. Did you know he plays this lullaby whenever it happens? Never heard it before, don't know who it's by, but it's the sweetest piece of music I've ever heard. You quieted for a bit and we thought that was the end of it, then there was a crash and Sherlock said you'd fell out of bed and he was off like a shot up the stairs.  
[10:43 G. Lestrade] That's when all hell broke loose. He tried to get you untangled from the blankets and you punched him a few times, nearly knocked him senseless. Then you jumped him and told him to run. Weirdest thing, that, you had him in a choke and body hold and you were pleading with him to run like you were desperate. I went to pull you off him but he told me to stay back and that you weren't actually awake, you were still dreaming. Something about a pool. He started trying to talk you down, which was a job and a half, he could hardly breathe. 

[10:44 John Watson] oh god

[10:45 G. Lestrade] He managed to get through to you and we got you back into bed and got Sherlock sorted out, then he said it was a bad night and he thought he'd better stay with you. That was when I left, after making sure he was alright. 

[10:47 John Watson] dear god  
[10:47 John Watson] I don't remember any of that.

[10:48 G. Lestrade] He didn't say anything?

[10:49 John Watson] Not a word. I just woke up to find him  
[10:49 John Watson] Well he was cuddling me  
[10:50 John Watson] Had his arms around me, pulled me up onto his chest.

[10:51 G. Lestrade] Ah that explains it. He'd pulled another pyjama top from the laundry basket and changed his shirt. I wasn't sure why, he was wearing one already.  
[10:52 G. Lestrade] Smell's the surest way to memory.

[10:54 John Watson] He didn't say a single word  
[10:54 John Watson] Not one word  
[10:55 John Watson] He just let me yell at him  
[10:55 John Watson] oh god

[10:56 G. Lestrade] You alright, John?

[10:58 John Watson] I beat up my best friend and I don't even remember it then I went off on him for comforting me, yeah I'm fine.  
[10:59 John Watson] Christ  
[10:59 John Watson] I'm so collossally fucked up  
[11:00 John Watson] It's no wonder I can't keep a girlfriend.

[11:01 G. Lestrade] John

[11:01 John Watson] I better go  
[11:02 John Watson] I owe him a massive apology  
[11:02 John Watson] Christ  
[11:03 John Watson] Is the case any good? Maybe I can make it up to him with an interesting case.

[11:04 G. Lestrade] I'd appreciate if you'd bring him round later. To be honest, we never finished up. He dropped everything from when you first cried out.  
[11:04 G. Lestrade] I haven't even got a text from him yet so I'm a bit worried.

[11:05 John Watson] oh god

[11:06 G. Lestrade] He said it was a bad night, like it was something he expected. Does this happen a lot, John?

[11:08 John Watson] I don't know  
[11:09 John Watson] I guess it must do  
[11:10 John Watson] I've woken up with sore hands before  
[11:10 John Watson] And bruises  
[11:11 John Watson] And bruises on Sherlock  
[11:11 John Watson] oh god  
[11:12 John Watson] And he never says a word  
[11:12 John Watson] Christ  
[11:13 John Watson] And I already have a therapist, thank you very much.  
[11:13 John Watson] I already know I have PTSD

[11:14 G. Lestrade] I guess there's not much else you can do.

[11:15 John Watson] I throttled him?  
[11:15 John Watson] Christ  
[11:15 John Watson] Poor Sherlock  
[11:16 John Watson] Christ  
[11:16 John Watson] I don't know why he puts up with me

[11:17 G. Lestrade] Same reasons you put up with him, I suppose.

[11:18 John Watson] Yeah  
[11:18 John Watson] Christ  
[11:19 John Watson] That poor man  
[11:20 John Watson] I'm surprised you're not bringing me in for attempted murder

[11:20 G. Lestrade] No point.

[11:21 John Watson] God knows people would believe it  
[11:22 John Watson] People just have no idea  
[11:22 John Watson] He does things like that all the time.  
[11:22 John Watson] Like that spider incident with Donovan.  
[11:23 John Watson] Never says a word. 

[11:24 G. Lestrade] That blew my mind. I had no idea she had arachnophobia.

[11:25 John Watson] She worked hard to hide it.  
[11:26 John Watson] She's worked hard to build her reputation and rapport to where it is. He wasn't about to see it all shot down.

[11:27 G. Lestrade] Except now she thinks he's a sexist arse. I got the rookies out of there.  
[11:27 G. Lestrade] Everyone who witnessed the actual spider eviction thinks it was bloody clever though.

[11:28 John Watson] Exactly.  
[11:28 John Watson] He'd rather she think him a sexist arse than see her shoot down everything she's built for herself, in front of a bunch of rookies to boot, because of a spider. That's the kind of person he is. And he doesn't even like her.

[11:29 G. Lestrade] Yeah  
[11:29 G. Lestrade] And last night I saw what he'll do for someone he likes. Amazing.  
[11:30 G. Lestrade] You're a lucky man, John. Both of you are lucky men. You're great friends to each other.

[11:31 John Watson] Yeah  
[11:31 John Watson] Christ  
[11:31 John Watson] What the hell am I going to say to him?  
[11:32 John Watson] And if I do say anything, he'll look at me like I've gone mad and tell me there's nothing to apologise for and I'm being ridiculous.

[11:33 G. Lestrade] Why would he say that?

[11:34 John Watson] He'll tell me I wasn't awake or in control of myself and had neither intent nor ability to stop what I was doing, so I have no reason to apologise for what couldn't be helped.

[11:35 G. Lestrade] I guess he'd have a point.

[11:36 John Watson] Then he'll try to tell me it was his fault for, I don't know, something. He'll come up with something that he'll think he did wrong and triggered me or I don't know what and I'll feel even worse about it.  
[11:37 John Watson] It's impossible to talk to him sometimes.  
[11:38 John Watson] He makes me feel like I'm making a big deal out of nothing.  
[11:38 John Watson] He does things like that and he never says a word about it, and then you can't even thank him for it or apologise or talk to him about it because he acts like it was the most ordinary thing in the world. 

[11:39 G. Lestrade] Maybe to him, it is.

[11:40 John Watson] I'd better go. I should check on him  
[11:40 John Watson] If I choked him, there'll be swelling, bruising, difficulty swallowing. He probably won't want to talk much.  
[11:41 John Watson] Not that he does anyways.  
[11:41 John Watson] Christ

[11:42 G. Lestrade] Let me know. I still need him on this case.  
[11:42 G. Lestrade] I'm glad you're alright.

[11:43 John Watson] Yeah  
[11:43 John Watson] Thanks for telling me.  
[11:44 John Watson] I'll get him to text you.  
[11:44 John Watson] Bye for now.


	2. John's Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How do you apologise for something you did but didn't do, to someone who won't accept an apology because he doesn't think an apology is required?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By special request of Holyfrell :)

Sherlock was at his microscope when John returned. He didn't look up as John put the milk into the fridge. He didn't look around as John fished into Sherlock's pocket for his phone and laid it on the table beside him along with his own phone. He didn't look up at John sat down. He did look up when John tapped his shoulder. 

"Lestrade's worried about you because you haven't texted him yet. He says you never gave him an answer about that case, last night." Sherlock blinked at him slowly, silently. "Let me look," John said and reached out to touch Sherlock's chin lightly, moving his face this way and that and tipping it up. There was a mottled spot colouring on his cheek and a reddened pressure mark across his trachea. He nudged Sherlock's phone towards him. "How's your breathing? Is there any swelling?"

[14:35 SH: I'm fine.]

John took out his stethescope, "Let me listen. How's swallowing? Very sore?"

[14:37 SH: I told you, I'm fine.]

"Yes because that's what you always say. You could have a shattered leg and you'd try to tell me you were fine. Any bruising on your abdomen? I'm told I got your solar plexus. Come on, shirt up, let's have a look."

[14:42 SH: You fuss worse than Mrs. Hudson.]

"I'll take that as a compliment, thank you," John said. He ran his hand over the reddened spot that didn't appear to be bruising. "Were you ever going to tell me?"

Sherlock blinked at him, twice.   
[14:44 SH: No.]

John closed his eyes for a moment and bit his lip, "Why not?" 

[14:45 SH: What good has it done you? It's only distressed you. I know it's not deliberate malice. You're not even awake. You don't remember and you have no way of stopping yourself, so what was the point of burdening you about something you can't control? I didn't dodge fast enough, that's all.]

John pressed his hand against his eyes and looked up, earnest. "I could have killed you, Sherlock. And you know I would."

[14:47 SH: Only if I can't reach you. I'm always able to reach you.]

"You're putting much too much faith in that for my comfort," John sighed, shaking his head, "There's medications available for this. If I've become a danger then it's time I got on them." He passed a hand down his face. "...I'm sorry I yelled at you this morning. I didn't know."

[14:49 SH: I know you didn't know.]

"So you've been... putting me to bed and then cuddling me? And then you, what... sneak out of bed before I wake up?"

Sherlock's mouth spread into one of those amused grins that always made John's heart stutter and he looked up at John with that look that he thought of as 'patronising fondness' as he texted.  
[14:50 SH: You've got it all backwards, John. It's you who cuddles me. As soon as I lie down, you latch onto me and cling like a barnacle. You get us so tangled up, I've had to get quite creative in order to extricate myself. Usually, yes, I'm able to vacate your bed before you wake up. This morning was one of the rare times you woke up before I did.]

John covered his face with his hands as this sank in. Then his phone chirped again and he peeked through his fingers.

[14:52 SH: I didn't say I minded. You sleep soundly afterwards with no further disturbances, so the effect is clearly beneficial.]

"And what about the effect on you?"

[14:52 SH: I'm warm enough.]

And that seemed to be it. John passed his hands over his face again and looked out the window. Then he looked back at Sherlock, "Lestrade said you play a lullaby when I have a nightmare. He said he hadn't heard it before, wanted to know what it was and who it was by. I think he wanted to go looking for a copy, he quite liked it, said it was very beautiful."

Sherlock smiled a little, looking almost sheepish.  
[14:55 SH: Ah, well... It's not for sale. It's one of mine. I found that that particular combination of notes were the most reliable and consistent in producing the desired result of calming you.]

John stared at him. "You, are you.. You wrote music? For me? For my nightmares?"

[14:56 SH: That's what I just said. It did take some experimentation to get the right combination but the finished product is reliable about 90% of the time, which is quite good, really.]

John was still staring, "How long has this been going on?]

[14:57 SH: Is that relevant?] 

Which was Sherlockese for "a long time." John sat back in his chair and stared at him, defeated. "Thank you," he said at last, "You are, beyond shadow of a doubt, simply the best friend I have ever, ever had in my entire life."

Sherlock rolled his eyes.  
[14:59 SH: Don't be silly, John. It's what anybody would do.]

 _No,_ John thought, but knew better than to say, _No, it definitely isn't what anybody would do. You're the only one I know who even thinks that way, let alone acts on it._ He pushed his hands through his hair and sighed, "Alright. Alright, you can... If that's what it takes to keep me properly asleep and not trying to hurt you, then... alright. You can sleep with me, you can.. cuddle me. Or continue to let me cuddle you, however it works. Lestrade said it was for my own good."

[15:01 SH: Lestrade talks too much.]

John looked away again then looked back, "Did I hurt you anywhere else?"

[15:02 SH: No.]

"Alright then. Text Lestrade, he's worried about you. Tell him if you're going to take the case or not. He's hoping you will, he really wants you on board for this one."

[15:03 SH: Will it make you feel better?]

John pondered for a moment, thinking about what Sherlock was asking. Then he nodded, "Yes. Yes, it will."

[15:04 SH: Then I'll take the case.]

John nodded and got up to go make a cuppa, patting Sherlock's hand. Then hesitated. Then turned back, "Sherlock, look, I.. I know you'll think it's ridiculous and I haven't got anything to apologise for but I have to say it. Look I'm really, really sorry that I hurt you. I don't know why you put up with me sometimes."

That got an actual chuckle, or what would have been, had his throat not been so sore.  
[15:06 SH: John, you put up with my experiments in the fridge, my violin, my skull, my brother and, well, me. A few bruises is a small price. I'm getting the better end of the deal, I'm sure of it.]

John gaped, blinking hard against the sudden tears that threatened to overspill his eyes. "Jesus Christ," he told the flat at large, "I throttle him and he thinks _he's_ getting the better deal... Christ, that is so messed up..."

[15:06 SH: It's hardly deliberate on your part. There's no intent behind it.]

"I know, I know, it's just...." John sighed and gave up. He stared at Sherlock, then he bent down and kissed the bruise forming on his cheek and went to make the tea. 

Later, he got Sherlock to play him the lullaby. It was called _John's Nightmares_ and it was the sweetest thing he'd ever heard.


End file.
